hart of oz

In a world torn by war. In a world facing annihilation from the effects of climate change. In a world where tax increases on beer show no signs of slowing. In this world, comes one man.  A man with a deceptively huge upper body.  A man who has overcome such great adversities as early male pattern baldness that robbed him of the chance of looking back on photos taken in his early 20’s and remarking decades later to his friends “What was I thinking with that hair cut?”.  Comes a man ready to entertain the masses. To act as a beacon of hope to all.  To uses short sentences to build up the moment. This man is me.  If laughter is the best medicine then I got my PhD years earlier studying at the school of piss take and have been practicing medicine ever since. Unfortunately, the Australian Medical Association didn’t see it that way and shut down my practice just recently threatening me with a hefty fine and potential prison time.  I suppose it was only a matter of time really, given that I kept on prescribing listening to 3 fart jokes each day no matter what the patients’ symptoms were.  It’s a shame that old man had to die, but if anyone else can learn you can’t treat heart disease with just knock knock jokes or witty observations about topical events then we can’t really consider his loss a waste (do you believe that defense? I hope so because I intend to use it in front of a jury of 12 later this year).  Okay, so you’ve probably figured out that I’ve pretty much made everything up about myself so far, except the baldness (and the deceptively huge upper body stuff).  What I am is a young man who likes to travel and document the events that took place in a humorous manner. Whether that is taking the piss out of countries that seem overly proud of dodgy old construction work that leans or falls over (I’m looking at you Italy), to discovering in the south of France that the collective noun for a large group of exposed breasts is “A Nice of breasts”, to providing tips on how to avoid paying to use the toilets in German beer halls.

 

“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark

 

"To awaken next to an attractive Lativan woman, whose name you can't pronounce, in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world." - Peter Hart